A sign went up this week at work: “Eligibility to work in the UK. All employees must show either their National Insurance card, a P60 or an old P45 by the 13th of Feb.”
Can I see your papers please?
Now, bear in mind that in the close of last year everyone had to bring in either their passport or their birth certificate… Now, what does an NI card prove that my passport doesn’t? It doesn’t have a picture. The signature is so old it’s worn off (and they didn’t copy that side anyway). The whole thing is so ludicrous and full of holes it makes me wonder: What’s the real reasoning behind it? I have sneaking suspicion it’s just another hoop they are making us jump through in order to get us used to showing our papers. Having Checked a few websites I have found that the legal requirement is a birth Certificate and NI card/P60/P45. Employees showing a UK passport need show no other identification. The company are obviously covering themselves by asking for everyone to show everything, and bet they are not the only company to do this. I can imagine the next step: “Tired of showing all these pieces of paper to keep your job? Well, you can VOLUNTEER to be one of the FIRST to receive one of our National ID Cards and you need only show ONE piece of documentation.”
Clever, eh? A double problem – reaction – solution here…
PROBLEM: “They took our jobs!” (After the govt let them all in)
REACTION: “Somebody must do something or we’re all gonna vote for the BNP!”
SOLUTION: “Ok then, from now on everyone has to keep showing endless pieces of paper to their employer to prove they’re not al-quaida or illegal immigrants. That will solve everything. (Except it won’t, because the illegals mostly don’t work for large companies but as au pairs and contract cleaners etc, or in the black economy. The ones taking your jobs are mostly here legally from the accession states. ) Happy now?”
PROBLEM 2: UK citizens are running around like headless chickens looking for NI cards last seen 11 years and three wallets ago, in fear of losing their jobs. Illegals, on the other hand, are still working cash in hand for shady companies, oblivious.
REACTION 2: “So what you gonna do about this then?”
SOLUTION 2: “Step right this way sir, I’m just gonna need some of your blooooood…”